Unscrupulously what lady wishes, that it adored as very much as she loves. Can be therefore, having met the pleasant young person, tries all methods to make it happy. Does everything to justify his love. It works at the first step. The man concedes to a pressure, gets used to comfort, realizes that anybody so perfectly did not treat it and, it seems, reciprocates.
Specifically habit to do something, that you adored, leads to a rupture of the relations. Why we consider, what love it is necessary to deserve? Perhaps, it from youth. Do homework, be perfectly trained, help to wash the dishes – and you will adore. The child puts an equality symbol between the furors and parental love. Good marks and obedience – adore. The three, disputes, complaints of teachers – houses abuse, and means, do not adore. Then that you adored, it is necessary to be quite good. Youth allows to fix this error. Living under the slogan «All to you, darling», the lady to whom it is not necessary anything, without considering love and attention, from time to time there is one – disappointed and devastated. It is possible посиживать in kitchen with girlfriends later, to drink wine, to look for mistakes, but a conclusion one: «It a pig, you so much for it made, such to it forgave, and it did not estimate».
Has no value that was a reason for parting and who left the first. If you adored, but did not feel a beloved if there is a feeling that you used, means, you gave more than received. Worrying about, whether the man loves you, it is heavy тормознуть and to think, whether you love it. Trying to become for it to the best, do not manage to realize, whether it suits you. Povsevremenno something inventing to make it happy, and itself – suitable, let’s to the man listen to his feeling. We draw faultless affairs in own imagination and we start them to build. We work so with enthusiasm that the man becomes not the participant of the relations, and the passive viewer. Psychologist Barbara de Angelis calls such behavior filling of sensual emptiness and allocates some signs.
You plan joint affairs
You without a role of the man solve, on what film or performance you will go where to go to the holiday, what purchases to make in shop how to spend days off or to organize a holiday, solve, whom to invite, plan for some months forward, think out new types of rest and activity.
Take the lead in sex
You the 1st embrace or kiss the man or demand it about it, take it by the hand at cinema, sitting at a TV set or during walk, goes to it towards from though what part of the apartment, the 1st embrace him before going to bed, sexy affairs occur on your initiative or you expect an initiative from it (and complain of absence of proximity). You create an intimate situation, remind it of basic personal dates, quite often start conversation on own emotions and try to have a talk about the joint future.
Play a conducted role in conversation
Write it messages, make the small gifts, the 1st go on reconciliation after quarrel. Povsevremenno ask him, your workmate, when you in common says even more; are nervous, when it it is long is silent, and start to get to the bottom, on what he reflected. Try to find that he feels, and lead; advise to it how to behave on work, with friends and relatives.
New ideas and plans proceed only from you, you introduce new habits, start shift, prepare new dishes, offer the partner new books and music, select clothes. Each 5 minutes make a declaration of love and expect something in reply.
Naturally, in such questions unscrupulously what lady shows an initiative but if it does it povsevremenno, means, it builds affairs with herself, forcing out from their workmate. Still, if it stops to go on exhibitions and the cinema halls, dullish his life becomes what. Tell, in what area of the similar relations the man plays a conducted role? Perhaps, to you such pairs (the years which have lived in common many) met. They come on a visit, and the spouse starts to correct the spouse («you incorrectly tell», «it is interesting to nobody»), decides that to it to drink and eat, periodically says about it on the 3rd face, as if it is not present nearby. From outside it seems that it presses it, and it, maybe, in vain tries to draw of it attention. Poor, for one instant does not leave him alone, trying to fill sensual emptiness. Also is angry, without receiving return: «I do everything itself. It does only that I will tell».
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Actually always the man does not guess at all why the lady whom «all», is nervous and is irritated. He reflects that it has that temper, she very active and it is pleasant to solve everything and somewhere to run. Also does not consider itself flegmantichny and unsympathetic. To it simply did not leave a place for an initiative. And after all the man likes to be a winner. Happens, it leaves there where there is an open space for responsibility, to the maiden by name «and – that – it – only – in – it – found».
What it is necessary to do to avoid bad succession of events?
Leave to the man a place for an initiative. Support its undertakings. Do not hurry act. It is necessary for it to be sure that support it and will not criticize.
Forget about the faultless relations which are built by you. Allow the man to put pair of bricks in this future strong building. Let he is mistaken, will be inconvenient and amusing – but let he is trained to adore. Yes, you will have no fantastic novel, but there will be ordinary affairs of full people.
Be not put alone to the decision though what problem. Transfer to possibility to the man and let it does that considers necessary, in comfortable to itself(himself) time by that method, which itself will choose.
Cease to behave as паровозик with a carriage. It is necessary not to be the first – in sex, in planning of trips and other pleasures. And if he asks, than you will be engaged, tell, that that-nibudt invented. Eventually at it everything will turn out.
Make so that in your life there were also other interests. Perhaps, put with the guy, – the unique exit for your creative energy? Therefore try to give for itself not less time, than give to own partner.
Have a talk with it. Explain to it that your activity has not something in common with desire it to suppress. That it will not lose your love and care, but it is necessary for you emotional a role.
Work over itself. Do not do anybody happy against will. Do not sacrifice itself. Do not try to deserve not the bad relation, and you by all means will meet the man who will adore the same as you it.