When spouses with the spouse cannot in any way learn to hear the friend to the friend though what disagreement develops into the conflict. Evenly, somehow to avoid quarrels, spouses the voobshchy cease дискуссировать controversial questions. Unexpressed misunderstanding grows, people keep away from each other that, finally, can lead to divorce.
For this purpose, to keep proximity, essentially to learn to consider representations the friend to the friend and to find the common decisions. There are some rules which will promote you in it. For a start understand, because of what practically always there are quarrels. And, believe, you attack the spouse at all because of the mirror splashed by paste or the socks thrown anywhere. The reason is covered where is deeper. Perhaps, the spouse gives you not enough attention and you the unexpressed offense operates. Or the whole matter is in the mistrust, unwillingness to concede, aspiration to process the friend to the friend. Having honest admitted for itself it, you can find an exit.
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Very essentially to learn it is weakened дискуссировать everyone to the dely. For this purpose find time when both are adjusted on constructive conversation. Think up a code word which will use if suddenly will feel that lose over itself control and are ready to break on emotion. As conversation runs across on overestimated tone, throw an anchor – say code «Stop!» also do not come back to conversation till that time while both will not calm down. At first it will be heavy, but it is necessary to acquire the mechanism, and everything will be adjusted. And, eventually, to hear the friend to the friend, get a rule, during family dismantlings to say strictly in turn, without interrupting the friend to the friend.
Perceive disagreements as game in what it is necessary to find such decision with which all will be agree. And if both are adjusted on the general result, family quarrels soon by itself will end. The most interesting conversations will come to their place. The main thing that silence did not lodge in the house!
Founder: Maria Lukina