When dissonances in a family put before a choice "to remain or leave?", the most part of ladies does not decide to take a step to changes and is reconciled with idea that it will be better let everything as is.
According to numerous researches the third part of ladies remains in ill-starred marriage for horror that will be even more awful, or in hope that everything will be changed to the best. The South American sociologists found some more events of continuation of the unsuccessful relations.
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The first is pressure of society. Without a stamp in the passport, without a ring and with the child on hands – to the lady impose idea that with such "set" at it practically does not remain chances again to find family happiness. And second "anchor" in this situation are kids. After all mother at first should strive on a sensual condition of own kids and operate in their interests, later only to think about for itself.
The South American scientists, analyzing given dely, interviewed in the middle of ladies who ventured in due time divorce and at present call the acts unreasoned for three main reasons:
For the kid the measured house situation is basic
The child should grow in the real family: mother will not manage to change absolutely the father, and, actually always, the child without fatherly education in adult life is inclined to superfluous infantility. It is heavy to it to make without the aid of others the decision therefore it shifts it on others more often; is not able to bear responsibility for the acts and words; simply gives in to bad influence of people around. The daughters who have grown without the father, very much extol own spouse, suppressing the freedom and ambitions; at the otprysky the underestimated self-image because on the father it in subconsciousness projects parent offense on itself(himself) is developed.
It is impossible to lower hands
If to ask any pair which celebrated not so long ago the 20 anniversary, the 30 anniversary or the 60 anniversary of joint life, in what a secret of a fortress of the relations, you will not hear that the spouse and the spouse each God’s day said the friend the friend of a word of love and always felt happy.
There were times when wished to destroy the friend to the friend? Yes. But to divorce – is not present. Naturally, there are cases when it is not necessary to keep ill-starred marriage – the languid atmosphere in the house will "poison" the kid and to generate in it a large quantity of unjustified fears and complexes. But periodically it happens so that parents need to have a rest certain time from each other, and not divorce, and attempt to translate affairs on a friendly harmony becomes the correct decision.
Cease to be angry at each other, unceasingly to make a complaint. Zamesto of it show more kindness and patience, and can, you will understand that not all is lost. After all you once fell in love with this man and longed with it to carry out all life, to bring up in common kids.
"The new father" for the kid
The new elect will always remain another’s person for your kid, and the man will not manage to fall in love with it as native. They can get used to each other, respect the friend to the friend, listen to view, but spiritually will be absolutely foreign people. To the girl to find common language with "the new father" a little it is easier, at the little boy cruel fight for attention and love of mother will begin. Emergence of the stepfather will not spoil business of boundaries by mother and the child but as influences children’s development and perception – absolutely precisely it is impossible to tell.