At first the relations there are difficult situations when the man and the lady approach, and there is not giving in to an explanation for the lady a discharge later. Everything was excellent – and here, he already a quantity of days does not call. Much a familiar situation – evenings посиживать, hypnotizing phone and ждя when he will call. Such makary the man finds the vulnerability button at the lady. It is possible to call it manipulation or game «who here main».
The man wishes, that for it longed. He wishes to realize, whether you love it. So his vanity and egoism is shown. But if to neglect a situation, he will fool you is rather long. At all this can roughly behave, not call back and arrange other checks to find out, how far you can come, wishing it to catch. The lady can expect for hours a call or the invitation to appointment, to spend nervishka and to think out that it made not so, and in fact is only game. Its result will show, who will keep control of the subsequent affairs.
It is asked, why he does not call, knowing, what the lady expects a call? Therefore does not call. The man is not going to do what from it expect. It likes feeling of own power over the lady and over a situation. If the lady apprehends its rules of the game, the amnesty and compliance will finish affairs to a condition with which it will be already unreal to be reconciled. Speech not about the one who will get the best in this competition, and considering a game principle. To state discontent and to make scandals it is not meaningful, it is so possible to spoil reputation and affairs. But it is possible to react correctly.
For example, the man sits up in a bar with companions, knowing that it is expected by the house. It will be excellent, if once, having come back a night, he the house will not see anybody. Also will not manage to phone. Then you to a meeting will change over: «Why you did not call? More so do not do, I worried». The lady thinks out 10-ki stories when the man did not call or was gone. But it is exact also if the plans are found in the lady, friends and personal records, the man will think out explanations. Ворачиваясь late and without a call, it finds control over a situation. Knowing that it expect and about it worry, he feels necessary and loved. For the sake of this pleasant feeling he will behave as a pig, and to be charmed by that the girlfriend of a place for itself does not find.
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He can think up a children’s justification. If I warn and was late, you would quarrel. If I did not warn and was late, you all the same swear. For what to spoil pleasure from beer with friends if all the same you will get it hot later. Maidens, having read councils it is necessary what to be lovely, good and pliable, exhaust itself in a trap. If the man cancelled with you a meeting, or said that will be late at some o’clock, it is not necessary to expect favor by nature. Start to make safely the plans and to be engaged in the affairs. At it in a trice will pass feeling of the importance. If it appeared at once, it is not necessary to cancel the meetings to meet it.
Sherry Argov, the founder of the blockbuster «The stinker marries» recommends to understand the magic phrase: «I do not wish to press on you. Therefore …» Further there are your acts: therefore went to guests, switched off phone and read, left in a hairdressing salon and forgot house phone. For young men who povsevremenno suffer from cargo of duties, it is saving and successful option. To whom is the lady who on it will press necessary? If your general plans change for the respectful reason, it is necessary to realize the man. Periodically incidents appear more feasible. If its non-obligation plays a role of rather short lead for the lady, remember the well-aimed phrase told by Ira Khakamada:« The man should not be all our world, but should be one of its parts, standing in a general series». For example, he reports that will be released at two o’clock later, than agreed. Not terribly. Time it will be occupied, tell, as you have an occupation. You long since were going to register in shaping or to glance to acquaintances. Let’s realize that in your life and without it there is a lot of a nainteresneyshy. Let he knows that you are a lady who can operate itself own life (even if it not perfectly the truth).
The lady will be quieter, the there will be a man more emotionally. If it says that sat up with friends, means to it your attention is necessary. But it is necessary to give it this attention as the situation will repeat again. To tear this vicious circle it is possible the unique method: to have the plans and is weakened to be engaged in the affairs if it is absent. It is the best method to avoid a showdown. At all this it is not necessary to justify, verbosely to explain and ask: «A cat, you will not be upset, if we now do not meet?» Save up forces and nervishka, in particular, when there is a speech about the relations. Evade from an unnecessary question, leave by contradiction conversation, do not follow the tastes, when you drive up the wall, do not get into quarrel. If you react not how the man waits, you will not allow it to feel the advantage. Then you can say as equals – whether it is base of the harmonious and severe relations?
Founder: Alla Ilyin